revival! - definition is exilihrating!
ok...i was almost going to talk about being in control but lets not talk about that.
let's talk about content, road to happiness, what is that...people don't really know what that is.
they say they know what they want as to happiness but they don't know
i don't even know if i know.
i love my life and also hate it. i want to live one day and die another
so lets go over what revival is. it is a new start. a new motivation. a new breather of fresh air. what does that mean to everyone is different.
it means forgiving, it means smiling, it means hope...not hope in situation, but hope in your life that you can live on....do people understand that?
shit they don't. you know why, because everyone is fuckin selfish!
i want to be free of clouds, muster, tornados
i have too much love to give.
mark today...march 25th....26th midnight.
i am still very much in love with tyler. meaning, i want to be with him. if i want to choose, it would be him still.....but not for long....that's all.
i can look back and he can be dust but right now, damn it, its him
ADELE - TAke It All fir tyler
3.25.2012
3.09.2012
i like the sound, waves, subtleness
i don't want to be alone but i like the though to flying
i will not kill myself
i want to but can't, it will devastate my family
but i can live in a dream of that no?
dream of this sound......say hi to forever,...just listen...it is so influencial
i am fine,
no death
the children spinning..innocent
don't we all want to go back to that place
spinning
i love this feeling
but not long
i don't want to be alone but i like the though to flying
i will not kill myself
i want to but can't, it will devastate my family
but i can live in a dream of that no?
dream of this sound......say hi to forever,...just listen...it is so influencial
i am fine,
no death
the children spinning..innocent
don't we all want to go back to that place
spinning
i love this feeling
but not long
i read daul kim's blog
unhappy...why? fame? suffocation of life? everything
i started late. i have value, family values, not to be broken
i started when i was an adult////
i want to die
i would love to be non existent
not for love, acception, or importance
pain of emptiness. daul empty. everyone empty. more than others but loneliness.
i don't know where that spark is inside me....
i thought i did, thought i recovered...but no...
i am tired...my spark, my love, my care for human beings....i feel is dying
i wish my family the best..i love them more than anything. i would do anything for them
as well as my friends....because they protect me.
i ran...i raaan.....boy... thank god paul was there
he is no longer in my life....
depressed, no
i know i am passed that life
i am aware of the symptoms..i know the aftermath, i know the scars
facing it is another story
i'm sorry tyler
i can say i just want to be loved but i guess that is the symptoms talking
i want happinss but what is that
i love nothing
so love everything
i can't convey my message but
love, kindness, care
me
i will not do...
people know...
unhappy...why? fame? suffocation of life? everything
i started late. i have value, family values, not to be broken
i started when i was an adult////
i want to die
i would love to be non existent
not for love, acception, or importance
pain of emptiness. daul empty. everyone empty. more than others but loneliness.
i don't know where that spark is inside me....
i thought i did, thought i recovered...but no...
i am tired...my spark, my love, my care for human beings....i feel is dying
i wish my family the best..i love them more than anything. i would do anything for them
as well as my friends....because they protect me.
i ran...i raaan.....boy... thank god paul was there
he is no longer in my life....
depressed, no
i know i am passed that life
i am aware of the symptoms..i know the aftermath, i know the scars
facing it is another story
i'm sorry tyler
i can say i just want to be loved but i guess that is the symptoms talking
i want happinss but what is that
i love nothing
so love everything
i can't convey my message but
love, kindness, care
me
i will not do...
people know...
i am sorry
i mean no harm.
i don't know how to cure myself from this disease...
which is why i would like to relive myself from this world.
i look for answers from my partners...
i attach myself
i need things
it is me
i recognize it
i need help or else i don't want to live
i want to scream and kill someone with a knife.
i want to run into a wall with all of my anger and frustration and be done with it...
yet it still sits....
i want what my sisters have but i don't know if i can do it
healing
therapists
energy recharge....
maybe...
who knows.
i am sorry Tyler
i mean no harm.
i don't know how to cure myself from this disease...
which is why i would like to relive myself from this world.
i look for answers from my partners...
i attach myself
i need things
it is me
i recognize it
i need help or else i don't want to live
i want to scream and kill someone with a knife.
i want to run into a wall with all of my anger and frustration and be done with it...
yet it still sits....
i want what my sisters have but i don't know if i can do it
healing
therapists
energy recharge....
maybe...
who knows.
i am sorry Tyler
I'm goin in for the kill
I'm doin it for the thrill
I'm hopin you'd understand
what is the purpose of cantelope
I don't know...
boredom
boredom scares me.
having nothing to do..
or having no one to do things with...talk to....
loneliness
sit still, sober....lonely
alcohol, ciggys, other things....not lonely, things that distract me
source....silence...still...empty
when i feel...no i always have felt....BLANK
the times i feel ok BLANK...i knew there was someone there....
now...BLANK...blank...BLANK...
I'm doin it for the thrill
I'm hopin you'd understand
what is the purpose of cantelope
I don't know...
boredom
boredom scares me.
having nothing to do..
or having no one to do things with...talk to....
loneliness
sit still, sober....lonely
alcohol, ciggys, other things....not lonely, things that distract me
source....silence...still...empty
when i feel...no i always have felt....BLANK
the times i feel ok BLANK...i knew there was someone there....
now...BLANK...blank...BLANK...
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