i haven't listened to chinese music in a year....ever since moving back, i haven't touched it...while driving to the ocean, I was in a blur. i wanted something to save me. i wanted to feel the connection to something. i wanted to have something tell me or give me the ok that things are ok. i needed some security. i listened to chang zhen yue's latest album (came out abt 3 years ago). i miss him. memories...it waas like tears and over anxiety like you were waiting for test results.
i remember driving up the coast of tpe. just him, me. music, and the ocean view and feeling so clean. not free because we both had so many worries in our life so much bs and drama. i remember listening to this album, letting the music take over....just feeling life. all the sadness and misery in one car with the ocean. he felt free as well with me. it wasn't like an infatuation but understanding that we have each other and it was enough in that moment.
i miss this. i miss listening to chinese music and feeling sad. completely feeling sad. the language is so beautiful. not like english where things are just blah....what have i done.....should i have stayed? always a question with me.
i want to call him....but too early.
No comments:
Post a Comment