super bad mood. trying not to eat anything unhealthy. its driving me insane. I don't feel well. food is not digesting. feel like throwing up. I feel the food stuck in my pipes. fuck. feel like a haze. horrible sleep last night. soreness of my shoulder and hips are so painful i can cry. what the fuck. i feel like collapsing thinking to wake up and everything will be ok.

i like the lounge here. it reminds me of school. i don't know why but i love libraries. they make me happy. like maps. like walking around new york city by myself, enjoying every detail of the madness the surrounds you when you get a cup of coffee.

i'm insane. so is everyone i know so does that make me normal. why do i feel so bad? it's not my fault. no it is. yes it is. no it is. fuck

buying time. fuckin insane. why is it so expensive. what ever happened to the days when time was nothing. you can have 2 layovers and it was nothing. you were just a kid who was happy eating chips and not caring about being fat!