there is something going on with my body. i feel as if i'm in a haze all day yesterday. haven't been sleeping. tossing and turning, waking up a couple times in the middle of the night. feel sluggish. even if it is that time of month, i never felt so weak. i work out. but my injuries are coming back....i'm so miserable.

super bad mood. trying not to eat anything unhealthy. its driving me insane. I don't feel well. food is not digesting. feel like throwing up. I feel the food stuck in my pipes. fuck. feel like a haze. horrible sleep last night. soreness of my shoulder and hips are so painful i can cry. what the fuck. i feel like collapsing thinking to wake up and everything will be ok.

i like the lounge here. it reminds me of school. i don't know why but i love libraries. they make me happy. like maps. like walking around new york city by myself, enjoying every detail of the madness the surrounds you when you get a cup of coffee.

i'm insane. so is everyone i know so does that make me normal. why do i feel so bad? it's not my fault. no it is. yes it is. no it is. fuck

buying time. fuckin insane. why is it so expensive. what ever happened to the days when time was nothing. you can have 2 layovers and it was nothing. you were just a kid who was happy eating chips and not caring about being fat!

film - emmy - what is this all about?

8.29.10
lets all be good together

mindblowing

next morning: forgot about the blog...

hallelujah

how i feel inside

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSJbYWPEaxw&ob=av2e

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

what happened to stopping time? feel the space in between time and experiencing what goes on inside?

For the longest time, i have always wanted to write everything down. so many things to say about things, feelings, people, air, color, outlets, everything tangible and intangible.

my inspiration. my motivation quite not there yet

i have a longing for more inspiration. it is like drugs. so strong and overbearing except is is not poisonous

how come i..

i need a sit up pillow to write in bed. this sucks